Graceful: Letting go of your Try-Hard Life

This winter Robert bought me a book entitled Graceful: Letting go of your Try-Hard Life by Emily P. Freeman.  I just finished it on Monday and wanted to share some of my favorite lines/excerpts with you:

"Rather than admitting you don't know what to do next, you fake it in public and feel lost when you're alone." Who hasn't done that before???

One of my favorite Bible verses: "God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!  He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."  (Ephesians 3:20, Message)

"Discontentment shows up when we focus on what we can't have rather than what we do have.  We have an enemy who takes a gigantic highlighter to the story of our lives and highlights those areas to remind us."

"What if I told you the work is done?  What if Jesus dying and then coming back to life was actually enough?  What if you don't have to do anything but receive him, say thank you, and then live like it is true?"

The Hebrew work El Shaddai means "God Almighty, the God who is more than enough."

"As soon as you think you've got your pride under control, you realize you are feeling prideful for controlling your feelings of pride.  It's a gritty and vicious cycle.  So what are we to do?  The only thing we can do - receive from Jesus.  Practice thankfulness for the discernment, for the faith.  It's a gift, not a medal.  It's a grace, not an award.  And only through a daily belief in Jesus alone can the events of my life take on a different tone than before."

"I can do all of these things not because I am so strong and great, but because Jesus is.  And he is the Truth.  And he lives in me."

"But when we hold on to Jesus and know he is God, when we believe in him as sure as oxygen and gravity, when we trust him when he says that the only work he asks of us is the work of belief, he will not disappoint."

"The voice of the intellectual tries to convince us that breaks are for the weak, and that we will never be the best unless we work ourselves tirelessly.  Stress is the norm.  A busy schedule means we're accomplishing things.  The problem is, we aren't sure what exactly we're chasing."

"As we release our right to be right, to know everything, and to look good all the time, we will find a new path of freedom.  It's the way of humility, the way of casting all our cares on a loving God, the way of trusting in the Creator of the universe rather than the grade on our paper.  Embracing humility is the opposite of holding on to our rights.  The voice of the intellect says You have to know everything.  The voice of Jesus whispers You just have to know Me."

"Do you dream of becoming an actress?  A writer?  A doctor or teacher or missionary?  Tell him.  He already knows, and chances are you dream those things because he has uniquely gifted you for them in some way you may not even be able to imagine right now."

"Offer yourself in reckless abandon to you loving Father, the heavenly Dream Weaver...When we allow ourselves to dream, God takes sweet delight in reaching into those dreams and grabbing by the fistful - to shape, to mold, to change, and to bring out the beautiful."

"God's biggest story is built up story is built upon beauty made, then destroyed, then remade better.  There is bondage but then comes freedom.  There is blindness but then comes sight.  There is death but then comes resurrection...God is not confined to time and space like we are.  The future is now, and he is waiting, giddy to show up beautiful in this moment...Jesus sings his truth songs over us, moment by moment.  When we trust him, listen to him, believe his words as truth right now, our life song can be unique and graceful too."

"For the words you have to listen to that you wish didn't exist, words like cancer or divorce or funeral or God has a plan, you know - when you wish his plan had a lot less broken and a lot more whole - know that you have a Healer who is close by.  Let him comfort you."

"Being found means God is with you, for you, in you, around you.  He longs for you to take joy in his presence and rest in the safe place he has made for you."

What are some good books you've read lately?

Holding down the fort

Saturday was my Grandma's 77th birthday.  Wish we could have been there to celebrate!  But I did get to chat with her for a bit and Dad sent her some beautiful flowers.

Robert's dad came to town Saturday in time for dinner.  We enjoyed some delicious food at Shuckers.  We ended the night by introducing Ray to one of our favorite movies: Nacho Libre.  We loved it of course. :)

We went to church together yesterday morning, and then the guys headed out shortly after that for a three day hiking trip.  They'll return Wednesday evening.  I'm sure many of you can relate, but I just hate it when Robert and I are apart.  The time away from each other goes by SO slowly.  It's unreal.  I am very thankful for Katie though.  Her husband is in Texas right now and she got left behind to work like me.  How unfair is it that our men get to be on spring break while we bring home the bacon?  I'm kidding.  Kind of...Anyway, she's bored and lonely too which works out well.  After the guys left I attempted to take a nap but only fell asleep for about 10 minutes because I was too focused on the fact that I had 80 hours to go until Robert's return.  When I got up Katie and I went for a long walk.  She's a great walking/talking buddy.  I've found that a good walking buddy is usually an excellent sign of a wonderful friend. :)  We parted for a bit for dinner, and I watched an episode of 30 Rock.  I also did a bit of cooking to add some meals to the freezer.

Gluten-free broccoli and kale quiche

Gluten free spicy chicken and bean soup

Katie came back over after a bit and we did our nails together.

After awhile, Ben came over and invited us to roast marshmallows and hotdogs.  It was so much fun!  And Robert was jealous so it was a success.

I spent the rest of the evening at home on my own.  I got to chat with Robert for a bit.  They made it to their hotel just fine.  They took a nap and then scoped out the town a bit, went on a little walk, and enjoyed dinner after Chili's.  The hotel has a pool, but Robert says it is the size of a cell phone. haha  I tidied up a bit after that and enjoyed some me time.  I slept semi-okay, but not awesome.  I actually slept better than I had anticipated - only woke up a couple of time for a few minutes each time, but I can definitely say I'm ready for Robert to be home already!

April Showers

We haven't had a ton of April Showers yet, but we certainly have our fair share of flowers already.  It's been fun noticing flowers and trees that we don't have in Missouri.  Like this one:

I recently told Robert that I wanted a house plant.  I had read of all sorts of great benefits that house plants provide - mainly lots of good, clean oxygen.  So we went to Home Depot and ended up with a Ponytail Palm - goofy and beautiful.

It's been fun receiving save the dates and wedding invites over the past several weeks.  Since taking this picture we received an official invitation to go with the save the date that we had received from Robert's cousin Ethan and his fiance, Rachael.  I'm so sad that we won't be able to go to most of these since we live in North Carolina now.  Robert will go to Ethan's wedding as he is a groomsman, and then we'll both go to Rylee's wedding.  She's from Bolivar but will be getting married in NC as this is where she attends school and where she met her fiance.  It'll be a bit of a drive, but we're excited to know that we will get to see quite a few Bolivar people without having to travel back to MO.

Hooray for weddings!

Robert surprised me with frozen yogurt one day last week.  He's a keeper!

Pretty flowers at work.  They look like tulips but are shorter and have more petals.  Any idea on what they are?

We've been attacked by yellow snow aka pollen

Last summer we had a little finch that came to our bird each day.  We named it Little Susie.  Little Susie came back again this week!  I know it might not actually be the same bird, but we like to think it is.  Also, shortly after this picture someone stole our bird feeder.  Seriously?  Who does that?  And it was a wedding gift. :(

More pretty flowers at work

In other news, Drury University won the Division II men's basketball national title last weekend.  I might have attended Drury for grad school, but I'm still a Bearcat at heart.  Even so, it's kind of need to have one of my former schools win the title.

We had a great weekend!  Robert worked on Saturday.  When he got home we went grocery shopping together.  Everything is more fun together. :)  We had already cleaned the house on Friday so we didn't have to do that on Saturday.  Very nice!  We went to the park with Brian and Christine and barbecued for dinner.  It was delicious, and the weather was perfect.  We came back to our apartment and finished a puzzle together.  Then on Sunday Robert had a solo within our choir special.  He did such a great job!

Health

I think it's safe to say that you really don't appreciate your good health until you're in bad health.  Robert and I have had our share of bad health this year.  As you all know, he had back surgery in the fall.  This came after more than a year of trying so many other options: Physical therapy, chiropractor, pain management doctor, epidurals, pain medicine, an MRI, a trip to the ER, and countless home remedies (ice, heat, massage).  He found out in May that he had two herniated discs.  There's obviously no great time to have herniated discs, but May was pretty much the worst timing possible.  We were both graduating, getting married, and moving in May.  There was no time for a back surgery that would require six weeks of taking it easy.  We went the route of just treating the pain for then and got him three rounds of epidurals.  I bet there aren't many men out there who can say that they've had 3 epidurals!  I hope I never have to have an epidural during childbirth, but if I do Robert will legitimately be able to say, "I know how it feels."

When we moved to North Carolina we found a neurosurgeon for him.  He had the surgery in September, and everything was great.  It wasn't until about a month ago that he started experience great pain again.  It was similar to the pain he had experienced previously except worse.  It was so scary thinking about him possibly having another herniated disc or something like that.  As you know, he ended up going to urgent care and the emergency room while I was in Pennsylvania.  He followed it up with a visit to a primary care physician.  He had an x-ray and urine test.  Nothing abnormal popped up in the x-ray, and the urine test confirmed that it wasn't kidney stones.

Robert had an MRI yesterday.  We're supposed to find out something within a few days.  I'm not sure which would be better/worse: Finding a problem (which means we can work toward fixing the pain) or not finding anything (and wondering why he's in pain).  I'll be sure to keep the blogosphere in the loop. :)

I've also been having a headache for several days straight.  It started with a strange pain in my head three weeks ago.  I really wouldn't describe it as a headache.  It feels different.  It hasn't gone away, it just changes locations: right ear, behind left eye, left ear, top of head, behind right eye, back of head.  Then seven days ago I got a real headache along with it.  I've dealt with headaches and migraines for years, but they pretty much go away in a day after I take medicine and sleep.  That hasn't been the case with this.  I wake up and am instantly in pain.  Has anybody else ever experienced this before?  It's so frustrating.  I ended up throwing up last night.  I'm not 100% sure that it was the headache or if it was something I ate.  I'm sure that the headache didn't help though.

I'm going to the doctor on Monday.  I'm hoping it will be a positive experience where she doesn't freak out and get me super scared that it's something incredibly serious, but I also hope that she doesn't say to just wait another month and see if it goes away.  Am I the only person who experiences pain and automatically thinks of the worst case scenario?

All that to say, it's definitely made Robert and me more thankfully for the days when we do feel well.  I urge you to be thankful for those days.  God has created such interesting bodies for us.  We can feel pain, but our bodies can also heal and feel better again.  Isn't He cool?

Midwest Tour

Excited to head to Missouri

Robert and I had been waiting with great expectation as a trip to Missouri drew closer.  This trip had been planned for months, and it did not disappoint!  I took the whole day off on Wednesday even though our flight wasn't until 4:30.  Since Robert was off school we were able to spend the day running errands.  Let me tell you, you just need a day like this every one in awhile.  Robert went to the doctor with me.  Then we went to Bed Bath and Beyond to buy wedding presents for a few friends.  My former suitemate Laura is getting married in Arkansas in June and Robert's cousin Ethan is getting married in Alabama in June as well.  We also ordered a replacement salad plate.  Ours unfortunately fell on the floor and shattered, but thankfully Noritake is awesome and replaces broken items for free.  We hit up Men's Wearhouse next.  Am I the last person to realize it's Wearhouse NOT Warehouse?  Hmm...Anyway, Robert got fitted for his tuxedo for Ethan's wedding.  Then Robert came with me to the chiropractor.  The chiropractor suspects that I might be allergic to wheat.  I am going to try a 30 day wheat-free routine and see how I feel.  Presently, my body is having great difficulty absorbing the nutrients I am taking in.  I'm also having a lot of headaches and an upset stomach.  This coupled with the fact that I have two aunts with who have the same problem has led the doctor to believe that it might be affecting me as well.  While in Missouri and Kansas I attempted to avoid wheat - didn't take a dinner roll at Easter, ordered a salad instead of pizza, etc.  But since it was new to me I didn't want to infringe upon the delightful menus that had been prepared for us.  One positive of our refrigerator and pantry being completely barren is the fact that when I go grocery shopping tonight I can stock up on wheat-free options.

We arrived in Kansas City at 8pm.  My parents were there to pick us up, and we got to Bolivar around 10:30.  We pretty much went straight to bed after giving Robert a tour of all the awesome stuff my parents have done to the house since he was last there in May.

On Thursday morning we woke up early so Robert could get two fillings.  What a way to spend your vacation, huh?  We need he needed a feeling and that it would be cheaper in Bolivar.  Little did we know that he actually needed TWO fillings.  Mom took a personal day from work.  It was so nice to go around town with her!  She went with me to get my hair trimmed.  Lori gave me my first haircut, and she has been my beautician ever since.  I've gotten my hair cut twice in North Carolina, but it just isn't the same.  After that, we met up with Robert at Roweton's Home Center.  We picked out a few wedding presents for friends which is always fun.  We split for lunch.  Dad, Jim, Robert, and two of Dad's coworkers ate lunch together at Jasmine.  This was one of Robert's favorite things to do in college - lunch with the boys.  He said it was delicious and so good to catch up with them.  While they ate together, Mom, Memaw, Pepaw, Aunt Dana, and I went to The Hangar Cafe at the local paper.  It was so tasty!  I got ham and cheese with fries.  It was tasty, they make their own bread, the food was ready quickly, the servers were friendly, and it is decorated perfectly to look appropriate for an airport with a bunch of mean but still put together and cute.

We met back up after lunch and went over to Carey's house.  This is a MUST when in town.  We got to hang with her awesome sons as well.  It's really crazy to see how big they are now.  When I first started meeting with Carey weekly Miles couldn't even walk and Cooper was being potty trained.  Now Cooper is almost finished with kindergarten and Miles will be starting in August.  Nate and Carey are such awesome parents, and I truly do admire them and look up to them.

For dinner, we all ate at Mom and Dad's house - Jim, Mom, Dad, Robert, Memaw and Pepaw, Aunt Pam and Uncle Nelson, Aunt Dana and cousin Kelsey, and me.  It was awesome!  Pam and Nelson are moving to Colorado in about a month, and they were able to make one last trip before the move.  Dana came up from Texas and Kelsey drove in from Springfield as well.  We were able to celebrate Kelsey's 23rd birthday one day late.

Pappy's did a great job!  I really like the idea of decorating the platter as well.

After dinner we headed over to Jim's new house to watch some basketball.  His house is awesome!

Beautiful hardwood floors and a large dining area

So many cabinets and awesome counter space

His new fridge has a light in the freezer.  I'd never seen that before for a fridge that isn't a French door fridge.  It's definitely a feature I'll look for when we buy a fridge one day.

His new furniture is super comfy and very pretty

Guest bathroom has so much storage!

Game central in the third bedroom

He has a great covered deck and huge back yard

Aunt Dana painted his dining table, Pepaw made two leaves for it, and Robert and I donated a chair to the cause.  Now it's less of a breakfast table and more of a dining table.  I had purchased a chair at a garage sale for $2, but decided not to take it with us to NC in May.  It had just been in storage at Mom and Dad's so we donated it to the cause.  It's the one with its back to us.  And the plant in the corner is real and was only $10 at Wal-Mart.

Dying Easter eggs at Jim's house

On Friday we to El Rodeo and The Bean 3:16 with Elise and Harrison.  El Rodeo is our all time favorite restaurant.  We hadn't been to the Bean yet since it opened after we moved.  Neither one disappointed.  Delicious!  After that, Memaw and I went to Happy Hour at Sonic so we could have some one on one time. :)  Robert and I went over to our pastor's house.  Billy and Regina are so great to talk to.  They are some of the best listeners I know.  They always remind me that you don't have to say anything to listen.  You just need to be fully there.  We had dinner at Memaw and Pepaw's house, and of course it was amazing!  We also managed to squeeze in a walk in the park at some point.  We got to go to Elise's mom's new house.  It looks great!  We met up with Kelsey, Tiffani, and Leigha there as well.  It was great to see 4 of my 5 bridesmaids at the same time.  They are the best!

Time to head to KC

It's always nice to get a text from friends showing that they just can't have fun without me :)

Yum!!!

Miles rocking his sports outfit

We headed to Kansas City Saturday after breakfast.  We got to see many family members and friends.  We also got to see Robert's mom's new house and his sister's new house - both are very nice!  Again, we ate so much good food.  We got to meet up with a few friends at the Plaza, and we also got to hang out with Josh.

Josh's adorable puppy Mya

Jim got me good!

We made it back to Raleigh just fine.  Ben picked us up and brought us home - so glad he was able to do that.  We got home at about 10:30.  Robert had a bit of homework to do when we got back.  He took a take home Greek test and got 100%!!!  He is so awesome!  Now it's back to school and work, but my mind is full of wonderful memories.