Random Thoughts, winter 2020

I haven’t done one of these in quite some time. Here's one I wrote in January and never posted. Random thoughts in 15 minutes:

Anybody else in a rut in the evenings? Don’t want to just watch TV but don’t have the energy to actually do something productive or pick up a hobby.

Robert gets a sabbatical in one month! I’m looking forward to having him home and trying not to have unrealistic expectations that he’ll be super available, but I do hope that if he’s able to study all day long maybe he’ll be free in the evenings.

Generally speaking, I like winter, but it’s so hard as a stay at home mom when you can’t play outside or take stroller rides.

I just got a flat white from Starbucks and hate it.

Baby boy turned 10 months old today and is crawling all over the place. He’s teething and in so much pain. Not being able to share about him online is an interesting experience. It’s a good lesson in not getting validation through other people’s comments and positive feedback, but I still feel jealous when I see other people share about their children.

Anybody reading anything good right now?

It’s been more than six months since I hurt my wrist. I’m still going to occupational therapy twice a week. Honestly, it’s been hard and difficult to not feel frustrated and disappointed.

2019: The Year of the Wrist

I joked that 2019 was the year of the wrist, and it seems like 2020 is off to a similar start. Everyone is dying to know all about my wrist saga, right? Probably not, but I’ll share anyway. In early July I slipped on the wet floor after taking a shower. I fell down to the ground and laid there for a minute. I felt banged up on most of my right side - toes, hip, ribs, and WRIST. A week or so later everything felt better but my wrist. I thought perhaps it was because I was carrying around a four-month-old and lugging around a car seat. Another week went by and I decided to see my doctor. He said maybe it was sprained and prescribed some cream to put on it to help with pain and recovery and suggested a small splint. Two weeks later it still hurt, so he finally took an x-ray. The results came in, and I had fractured my radius. I felt disappointed that it had talked four weeks to get an accurate diagnosis, I also felt frustrated that it would take another week and a half to see the hand specialist. When I finally saw him he had an occupational therapist make me a thermoplastic splint. At least it was purple and pink! I wore it all of the time except I could take it off to shower which was nicer than having a fiberglass cast, but it was still very hot and sweaty to wear in August. About two weeks into it, my left shoulder started killing me. It hurt so much that I decided to go to urgent care and was diagnosed with tendinitis and given a sling. So there I was with a cast on one arm and a sling for the other arm. You don’t have to be a mother to know that this is nearly impossible for a stay at home mom of two. I went to my primary care physician and got a cortisone shot in the rotator cuff area but didn’t receive any relief from it. After four weeks of the thermoplastic cast, I got an MRI and discovered I had a tear in my triangular fibrocartilage complex - a body part I didn’t know I even had until it gave me a hard time. I saw my hand specialist after a month of the cast, and he said the bone should be healed but that cartilage doesn’t heal on its own. He did a cortisone shot in it, and it didn’t provide anything relief. I also was skeptical about this method because I wasn’t looking to mask the pain of an unhealed injury for the rest of my life. I contacted his office ten days later to say I hadn’t gotten any relief from the shot, and his nurse said I could come in for another shot. I felt frustrated and confused about why a hand surgeon wouldn’t do hand surgery. I decided to reach out to the parents of one of Sarah’s friends from school. The dad is an orthopedic surgeon at another hospital, and he helped me get in with the hand specialist there quickly. I got to see her the next day on September 19. I immediately felt connected and heard when she actually did a physical exam on my wrist. The former surgeon had never even touched my wrist before diagnosing and treating. When she suggested surgery I honestly was relieved and very ready. She told me I didn’t have to go with her and her treatment plan, and I feared up because my pain was finally being validated, and we had a treatment plan that made sense to me. I told her I was on board, but she still wanted me to think about it over the weekend. Her plan was to anchor the TFCC back to the radius. I would have a soft long arm cast for two weeks and a fiberglass long arm cast for six weeks. Then I would have months of therapy. On Monday I called her and booked it. She was able to do the surgery about four weeks later on October 14, three and a half months after my injury. I was kind of nervous about the surgery but also very ready to finally be on the road to recovery. When I woke up from the surgery, Robert told me it didn’t go according to plan. The part of the TFCC that was injured was actually frayed in the middle instead of being detached from the radius area, so she didn’t need to anchor anything back together and did a debridement or clean up of the frayed TFCC. The good news was that I would only have a soft short arm cast for two weeks followed by four weeks of a brace. The bad news was that a full recovery was unlikely. The goal would be to get back to about 80%. The funny part was that she said I would no longer be able to do pushups. Darn! Ha! I was to ice my arm for 20 minutes every hour, but of course, I really couldn’t feel it through my gigantic cast. I had a metal bar on the entire underneath of my arm from the base of my fingers up to my elbow, and then it was wrapped in gauze and an Ace Bandage type thing. I think I took my prescription pain medicine for about two days and switched to Ibuprofen after that for another few days. I couldn’t lift anything over five pounds, so I couldn’t carry either kid. Robert took the first week off of work, and then he had to go out of town for his doctoral program, and my mom came and stayed with us. I had my follow up appointment with my PA at 10 days post-op. She increased my weight limit to 7 whole pounds. Big deal! Ha! She took out my stitches and gave me a brace. At this point, I realized that I only had two small laparoscopic incisions. I really didn’t know what it looked like before that. I immediately started occupational therapy. One of the silver linings of all of this is that I have really enjoyed the two therapists I have had. I’m able to get the first appointment of the day at 7:30. I leave at 7:00 so Robert gets the kids ready while I’m gone, and I get home just in time for him to leave for work. I have been trying to view it as “me time.” It’s a scheduled appointment that I have to keep, and I get to kind of check out and get my hand and arm massaged and exercise it. The therapists are very easy to talk to. They have been very pleased with my progress and continue to tell me that my progress is normal even though it’s slower than I had expected. When my surgeon had said it’s a simple surgery I guess she meant it’s simple for her to perform. When telling my therapist that, he told me it still takes about a year to recover. I saw my surgeon again on November 26, six weeks post-op and she renewed me for another six weeks of therapy which didn’t surprise me. I saw my PA again on January 7, and I was on the fence about whether or not I thought she’d release me. She did not. I wasn’t terribly disappointed because I don’t want to be released until I feel very good about my ability to perform everyday tasks and am experiencing minimal pain. She renewed me for another six weeks of therapy, and I’ll see the surgeon again on February 27. This time she included work on my rotator cuff because it was still causing me pain. The therapist has been helpful with that. Apparently, one part of the rotator cuff is unusually tight and another is unusually loose. I have no idea what the parts are, but I know it causes me pain and limited mobility. It was caused by overdoing it with my left arm when I couldn’t use my right arm. My main causes of wrist pain are things in the “pronation” position as they call it. Things like typing on a computer (like right now) and playing the piano. I am hoping and praying for continued improvement with those things because obviously, I can’t avoid them forever. My surgeon released me at the end of February when I saw her, and I’ll continue doing what I’ve learned from OT and do those things at home and just give it time (about seven more months), and then I’ll hit one year post-op. It’s been an interesting experience. On a funny note, in fourth grade a lot of people seemed to have broken bones and I was jealous and thought it seemed cool and interesting. I’m here to tell you that it is not. On a more serious note, I am thankful for family and friends who have stepped in and helped so much. I also had to be okay with just making sure the basics were done: food and laundry. Other things had to slide and we survived. Here’s hoping 2021 is NOT the year of the wrist!

End of Summer

Being 4 is off to a great start for Sarah! PreK has started, and I know it's going to be another great year for her! She's going to start reading this year, and I can't wait to see the adventures she goes on once she knows how to read. She's going to love it! She has also started piano lessons and has memorized Hot Cross Buns. Watching her learn knew things is such a precious gift.

Sarah got to do two day camps at a local farm park this summer and loved it. So much of motherhood feels like survival mode, but occasionally I get a boost of energy and live it up and play on the playground equipment even though it's wet from the rain! It was such a fun time!

We took our annual trip down to Alabama to visit Robert's family in August the week before school started. I can't share many pictures because most of them have Baby in them, but the week included lots of swimming (beach and pool), catching up with family, people meeting Baby, and fun adventures.  Of course we had to make sure the hotels had pools for our little fish!

Sarah had a good 4 year old checkup and is 42" (75%) and 42lbs (90%). I took Baby to the doctor today, and of course Sarah wanted to be weighed too. She had on her shoes this time, but she weighed 44lbs. She's definitely been going through a big growth spurt. You know you have a spitfire when the pediatrician describes your child as "precocious." The nurse was a good sport and gave Sarah's unicorn a well check as well.

First day of PreK

I'm afraid 2019 will be looked back upon as the year of the wrist. In July I slipped and fell after getting out of the shower. I was banged up and in quite a bit of pain but just figured it was bruises. After two weeks my wrist still hurt so I visited my primary care physician. He figured it was sprained and gave me some gel to rub on my wrist to help with the pain. Two weeks later it still hurt so he ran an x-ray. I found out my radius had been broken for a month. He referred me to an orthopedic hand specialist, and I got this spiffy thermoplastic cast. It works like a plaster cast, but it's waterproof which makes showering easier. He scheduled an MRI which took two weeks to get me in.

Five days after the cast I started having excruciating pain in my left shoulder and went to urgent care and got diagnosed with tendinitis which was caused by not using my right arm and overdoing it with my left arm. And now I bring you...the sling.

I went two weeks with the sling. I got a cortisone shot in my shoulder and iced it multiple times a day. I finally got the MRI of my wrist.  A few days later I found out I had a tear in my triangular fibrocartilage complex, a body part I never knew existed. I needed to schedule a follow-up with my ortho to discuss the torn TFCC, and they originally said he couldn't see me for three weeks!!! I was pretty upset, and they were able to get me in five days later. I told the ortho that I have constant pain in my wrist/arm and am not able to do normal tasks for my job as a stay at home mom. No one seems to understand that a stay at home mom with a four year old and five month old can't just take it easy for 12 weeks. He said that cartilage doesn't heal on its on and needs to be removed through surgery but that he wants to wait one more month to see if the pain stops. He gave me a cortisone shot a week ago, and I haven't noticed any decrease in the pain. After taking it easy for a month my left shoulder feels quite a bit better, but when I start to overdo it I can tell. Thankfully Robert's dad came to help a week ago and has been able to help with lifting kids and house work. I obviously don't want to have surgery but would rather get it over with now if it's inevitable. The recovery time for the surgery looks like it's about another 6-12 weeks which will put this whole thing at six months. UGH.

We enjoyed a trip to Silver Dollar City, and Sarah was able to ride a few rides for the first time - Fire in the Hole and The Great American Plunge. She had a blast!

Sarah and I had a girly morning together and painted pottery, rode a unicorn, and got our hair cut.

My parents and I all celebrated our birthdays, and we enjoyed getting to celebrate with family.

Sarah had an absolute blast going to a dance clinic with the high school dance team. We enjoyed getting to watch her at the football game.

Robert has finished one full year of doctoral classes and is 3/10 of the way done with his classes. He's in his fourth class now and spends every evening reading and writing. I have a serious question. Wives who have husbands that study or work at night, what do you do in the evening besides watch TV? I'm tired of watching TV by myself. Tired enough that I've literally googled cheap hobbies. What do you do when you don't want to exert a ton of energy or spend much money but want to do something besides watch TV? I already read as well. I like crocheting but am out of commission with my arms.