This Fragile Life

As a lot of you know, Robert had surgery yesterday.  It had been a long time coming.  He has had a sensitive back for his whole life - scoliosis, slipped discs, etc.  In January he was playing intramural basketball and took quite the spill.  We've been dealing with it ever since - chiropractor, physical therapy, pain management doctor, x-ray, MRI.  It's been a long process, but it seems to be coming to an end.  About two weeks before we got married Robert found out that he did indeed have two herniated discs.  Since it was just two weeks before our wedding and three weeks til the big move we decided to just ease the pain and work on actually fixing the problem later.  He got three epidurals (yes, like ladies get during labor and delivery) and felt significantly less pain, but still had two herniated discs.


Once we moved to North Carolina we decided to get the ball rolling.  He knew he need to find a neurosurgeon, per the pain management doctor's request in Bolivar.  After searching around to see which doctors would accept Robert's insurance we came across Dr. Eldad Hadar.  Per usual, it took awhile to get in to see him as a new patient.  When Robert got to see the doctor he confirmed the herniated discs and said surgery would do the trick.  Apparently when a back problem is causing problem in your back the surgery isn't usually very successful, but when a back problem is causing nerve problems in other parts of the body the back surgery is 93% successful.  Well, Robert's back problem was causing nerve pain on his left side - hip, knee, shin, foot, toes.  He had sharp pain, numbness, and tingly-ness.  We scheduled the surgery for September 12, and he had a pre-op appointment last week.  That all went very well, and we thought we were good to go.  Unfortunately, the MRI images that we mailed to UNC Memorial Hospital got delayed and weren't there as of 9/11 a.m.  The secretary said they wouldn't be able to do the surgery if the mail didn't arrive by the end of the day.  Robert began to get a bit panicky as he had already waited so long for surgery.  The images arrived in the mail Tuesday afternoon, so we got the go ahead.

We woke up yesterday morning at 5:00 so we could hit the road at 5:30 and arrive at UNC Memorial at 6:30.  The surgery wasn't scheduled til 8:30, so we had some down time for about 2 hours while nurses came in and out to get him prepped.  I said goodbye to him at 8:30 and was told the surgery would be 3.5 hours - he'd be out at noon.  I still hadn't heard anything at 1:00 so I asked the secretary what was up.  She assured me that if anything was wrong they would have contacted me.  A little while later the nurse called in and asked for me.  She said she didn't know why, but the surgery was going to take extra time.  How much longer?  Two more hours.  I decided to go exploring and found a farmers market in the hospital (It's a HUGE hospital) and Starbucks.  I picked up a salted caramel mocha frapappuccino and enjoyed the sun and breeze for a bit.

When I got back to the waiting room I was notified that the surgery was over and I would be able to see him in about an hour.  I finally got to meet Dr. Hadar and found out why the surgery lasted 6 hours instead of 3.5  He said nothing went wrong, but it was more intense and detailed than they had expected.  Robert had two herniated discs - One between L3 and L4 and one between L4 and L5.  The top one was "massive."  I don't know exactly how big a "massive" hernia is, but it sounds crazy.  Both hernias had a ton of scar tissue around them since they had been irritated for nine months.  This caused the hernias to be really latched on to his discs.  Because of this he couldn't just take out each one in a big piece.  He had to chisel away at them and got the top one out in 40 pieces and the bottom one out in 30 pieces.  This obviously made the surgery last a lot longer.  It also caused the incision to be significantly larger.  It was supposed to be a pea-sized incisions that was to be closed with glue.  I would say the incision ended up being 4-5 inches with several stitches.

Once he came to I got to visit Robert for five minutes.  He was shocked when I told him it was 3:15.  It was also shocked to see that he had an IV in both hands as he had gone to sleep with one in his right hand only.  He was also surprised to learn that he had a catheter as that was not planned.  The doctor told Robert he had to spend the night in the hospital since the surgery was more intensive than expected.  He knew Robert's body would be very tired and sore.  Because we hadn't planned to spend the night the hospital had not reserved a room for Robert.  He had to wait in the recovery room for three hours while I sat in the waiting room because visiting hours were over.  He finally got a room at 6:30 - twelve hours after getting there.  He had a semi-private room on the 6th floor of the neuro department.

I got him set up with dinner and his very own scrubs - he was pumped to pretend to be a doctor.  I headed home at 7:45 and got home right as Serina pulled in from DC.  I'm working today and Serina is taking care of him.  He got to leave the hospital about two hours ago.  He should be better than ever with some medicine and rest.

Thank you, Jesus, for reminding us that this life is fragile and you are always in control even when things don't go as we had expected.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

I might not be a good artist, but I can paint a pretty stellar picture of Egypt.  My heart is still in Bolivar these days.  I have moments of, "Wow!  I love Wake Forest!"  I have this thought when I drive past either of the two (yes, two!) Sonics in town and remember that happy hour is THREE hours long instead of two hours like in Bolivar.  I have this thought when I see green grass and pretty flowers instead of extreme drought.  But then I spend literally two months trying to find a stinking car wash in Wake Forest and get so unbelievably frustrated.  In Bolivar I could be to one of three or four car washes in 5-7 minutes.  I know this may seem like a simple, ridiculous example, but when this sort of experience is the norm for three months it can be utterly exhausted.  Nothing is "easy" here.  So many things seem incredibly time-consuming.  For example, I drive an hour to work and an hour and a half home each day.  When I spending two and a half hours in the car I can't help but think, "If I lived in Bolivar I would be able to get to work in ten minutes even if my office was on the complete opposite side of town."  And of course my mathematical side kicks in - hmm....2.5 hours a day x 5 days a week = 12.5 hours a week x 52 weeks = 650 hours in a year or 27 days a year.  That's right, at this rate I will be spending one month a year commuting to and from work.  How ridiculous is that?  It's so easy for me to think about all of the other productive things I could be doing with that month - sleep, work out, spend time with Robert, make dinner, clean the house, socialize, relax.  Basically, here's a simple breakdown of my life:
Wake up
Get ready for work
Drive to work
Work
Drive home from work
Eat dinner
Get ready for bed
Sleep
Get ready for work
I'm utterly exhausted.  When I get home I just want to sit and be comatose. 

Once again, Sara Groves sings that words of my heart.  Her song "Painting Pictures of Egypt" makes me cry every single time I hear it.  I didn't want to leave Bolivar.  To me, Bolivar is a wonderful place.

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me
Either way
And the places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling out to me
Like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
And the place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
And it wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
Leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard,
And I wanna go back!
But the places that used to fit me,
Cannot hold the things I've learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned!

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy
To discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the Promise
And the things I know

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
Leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard,
And I wanna go back!
But the places that used to fit me,
Cannot hold the things I've learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned!

If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
And if it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

When you come to visit

We've enjoyed playing host and hostess this summer.  It's been wonderful to show off our little town to our friends and family.  After three months of living here we've discovered some must-sees when hosting visitors.  Here are some places we'll take you if you come and visit us:

Shorty's Hotdogs - Cheap, tasty, and a great story
When Wake Forest College left the town nearly everything went under as well.  Shorty's was the only restaurant to stay alive.  The inside of the restaurant is adorable.  The hotdogs come with chili, onions, and mustard on them.  They have great hamburgers and fries, too.  We especially love the decor.

The Olde English Tea Room - Robert's workplace
Some of our personal favorites are the tomato pie, butterscotch and walnut scones, and cucumber sandwiches.  The two dining rooms were just remodeled, too.

SEBTS - Robert's school
It's so beautiful!  Huge magnolia trees, cobblestone sidewalks, beautiful buildings.  Random fact: There's a little rock fence going around the entire campus.  It was built by one of Wake Forest's janitors.  He worked at the school for over 50 years and took it upon himself to build the fence.  In the 90's a community member took it upon himself to repair the fence.  When he repaired it he pulled out all sorts of trash from the nooks and crannies - marbles, scissors, bones.

Duke - Gorgeous garden and cathedral.  It's definitely a must-see.

OBX - If you're here for more than a weekend you've got to hit up the Outer Banks.  It's about three hours away, but it's worth the drive.  Highlights include several beaches, the Wright Brothers Memorial, Lost Colony of Roanoke, the birthplace of the first child born after the English came to America, beautiful lighthouses.

Farmers' Market - Open every Wednesday evening and Saturday morning - delicious!

Historic Main - This is the street with the beautiful houses

Blackboard - My place of employment - It's a pretty sweet office complete with a free drink machine and lights that turn on whenever you enter the room