Sarah is an awesome sleeper! I hesitate to talk about it because I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but when people ask how she sleeps I'm not going to lie and pretend like it's not that great or like I don't know why or how she turned out this way. When I was pregnant with Sarah I was very anti-Baby Wise. I didn't like the idea of waking up your baby or making her sleep if she didn't seem sleepy. I also didn't understand how you could even make a schedule work with such a young baby, but 10 days after Sarah was born and Robert and I were complete zombies I was desperate for anything!
Sarah lost about a pound between being born and going to her four day well visit. It sounds like a lot, but since Sarah was 9lb 2oz when she was born, she was still bigger than most babies, even with the weight loss. However, the doctor still wanted us to feed her at least every three hours. Sarah would typically want to eat every 2.5 hours anyway, so we usually didn't even need to wake her up during the day, but we'd have to wake her up once or twice in the night to feed her. Once she'd gotten back up passed her birth weight at her two week appointment the doctor said Sarah could go four hours at night without eating. I started to realize that we were participating in one of the components of Baby Wise without even knowing it. We weren't doing it to get her on a schedule. We were doing it to help her gain back weight, but it was also getting her on a schedule.
Okay, so when Sarah was 10 days old, my friend Tarah came over with her husband, James, and their son, Asa. Asa was seven months old at the time (I remember thinking he was huge, and now Sarah is that big!). Tarah and James could be Baby Wise spokespeople! They are firm believers and credit Asa's excellent sleep habits to Baby Wise. They came for the day just to let Robert and me rest. We took an epic nap upstairs while they cared for Sarah downstairs. We are eternally grateful! And while they were here they helped us implement a schedule for Sarah. We were already feeding her on a schedule, but Tarah taught me a pattern to follow in between feedings.
- Diaper change
- Feed
- Play
- Sleep
- REPEAT x a million
Like I said, I was anti-Baby Wise, but when I started to think about it, this is really how we act as adults. You don't go to sleep the second after you eat. You eat dinner, watch tv/clean the house/etc. (PLAY), and then go to sleep. It's the same for babies. Food gives them energy to play, and then once they play they are tired and ready to sleep. For newborns, play might only last five minutes, and it might just be moving their legs around and making faces at them. As your baby grows, playtime will last longer and will turn into things like a bath, stroller ride, blocks, and the activity mat. The more you play with your baby the more tired she'll get and the better she'll sleep. It's worth it!
Another component to Baby Wise is the dream feed. At first, I wasn't a fan of labeling stuff, but once I found out what it was, it was a major DUH moment. The idea of the dream feed is that when you diaper and feed your baby throughout the night you make the baby feel like she's asleep and it's all a dream. Basically, you keep the lights low (just turn on a closet light or lamp) and you only whisper (no talking). Robert and I had been turning on all the lights and talking normally. Were we insane? I would hate it if Robert turned on all the lights to go to the bathroom. Why would I think that Sarah wouldn't mind that? This dream feed concept helped us start getting Sarah back to sleep quickly throughout the night.
Now, one area where I stray from Baby Wise is that I don't make nap time last a certain amount of time. Yes, if she stirs 30 minutes into her afternoon nap I do wait 10+ minutes to see if she falls back asleep, and she almost always does. At this point I just know that she needs at least an hour of sleep in the afternoon so if she's stirring 30 minutes into it I know she's going to fall back asleep. But when she does wake up I get her out of the crib even if it's not time for a bottle yet. I don't make her stay in there until a certain time. I'm also not a fan of "crying it out," and Sarah doesn't do that. She puts herself to sleep pretty quietly, thankfully. When she was teeny tiny we started by rocking her until she was sleepy but not asleep and then put her in her crib. She takes about 10 minutes to vocalize and get situated and then falls asleep. Now, before you think, "Aww...that's so sad that she doesn't get rocked," she does! We hold her and snuggle so much when she's awake. Trust me. We smother her with love.
That brings me to the crib. I've been asked multiple times how we got Sarah to sleep in the crib. The only tip I can think of is that we put her in the crib from day one. We never had a bassinet or anything set up in our room, so there wasn't a habit to break. Our bedrooms in our townhouse were about three feet apart, and now they're about 12 feet apart, so it's really not difficult to walk to her room. I understand it might be different if you're breastfeeding, but for us with formula I had to go downstairs to make a bottle and get my pump parts, so by the time I came back upstairs I was completely awake so it didn't even matter that Sarah was in a different room. I know another reason people like having their baby in the room with them is so they can check on them easily. I totally get this one. I was very paranoid and concerned about SIDS before Sarah was born. That's why we registered for the
AngelCare baby monitor. We LOVE it! It has the traditional monitor option of sound as well as the more modern option of video, but what makes it unique is the built in sensor pad that alerts you if your child stops breathing. You can set the sensitivity to your preference, but we set it to alarm us if it went 20 seconds without detecting a breathing motion. Thank you, God, that it never went off, but it was so reassuring to know that it would go off if needed. I will say that the main con with this is when you forget to turn off the sensor in your sleep-deprived state and accidentally set it off when you pick up your baby at 3:00am, but it's still worth it. Now that Sarah moves around so much we don't turn on the sensor, but we still really like the audio and video features. Honestly, it really isn't more expensive than other video monitors.
As Sarah has grown and eats fewer but larger bottles, her wake times and sleep times have changed. You just need to decide what time you want her to wake up for the day, and then you build the schedule off of that. For us, we want Sarah to sleep at least until 7:00, so we put her to bed a little bit later than some people might who need to wake up their baby at 6:00 to go to daycare or to get ready to take the big kids to school. Here are some of our sample schedules:
Birth
7:00am - Wake, diaper, bottle, play, nap
9:30am - Repeat
12:00pm - Repeat
2:30pm - Repeat
5:00pm - Repeat
7:30pm - Wake, diaper, bottle, tuck for the night
10:00pm - Dream feed before we went to bed for the night
Approximately 2:00am - Dream feed
7:00am - Start the day
8 weeks
7:00am - Wake, diaper, bottle, play, nap
10:00am - Repeat
1:00pm - Repeat
4:00pm - Repeat
7:00pm - Wake, diaper, bottle, tuck for the night
11:00pm - Dream feed before we went to bed for the night
7:00am - Start the day
*Seriously, Sarah started sleeping 8 hours straight at 8 weeks old. I've heard "sleeping through the night" is 6+ hours. Still not sure whose restful night sleep is only 6 hours!
3 months
8:00am - Wake, diaper, bottle, play, nap
11:00am - Repeat
2:00pm - Repeat
5:00pm - Repeat
8:00pm - Wake, diaper, bottle, tuck for the night
4 months+ (We're still on this schedule. We switched to it when Sarah started cereal.)
7:00am - Wake, diaper, bottle and cereal, play, nap
12:00pm - Repeat
4:00pm - Repeat
8:00pm - Wake, diaper, bottle, tuck for the night
When we started cereal our doctor explained to us that this is a good time to get babies used to three meals and a snack. That's why she got cereal with the first three bottles (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) and just had a "snack" of a bottle before bed. Now we do cereal with the 8:00am bottle and veggies or fruit with the 12:00 and 4:00 bottle. Bottle only at 8:00pm.
Random Tricks to the Trade
- Keep baby's room cool. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests keeping your house at 60-70 degrees to prevents SIDS. In general, a cooler temperature promotes sleep for anyone.
- Swaddle swaddle swaddle! We are all about the Halo Sleepsack Swaddle. As you know, newborns aren't supposed to sleep with blankets. I've heard a lot of people say they couldn't keep their baby swaddled. I'm here to say that our strong, large baby couldn't bust out of these suckers. The sack zips down so you don't risk zipping up her double chin. The wings cross over the torso and velcro on the back. There's no getting out! When you're ready to transition from the swaddle you can still use them but with baby's arms out. They're great! Of course, once your baby starts rolling over it's time to break the swaddle habit. You can still use a sleep sack, though. Last month we broke that habit as well, and now Sarah just sleeps in pajamas.
- We're also all about a sound machine. We use ours on the ocean setting. It helps us be able to live our lives and watch tv, talk at a normal level, and do things around the house while Sarah sleeps.
I know that some babies have health issues like acid reflux, being premature, or a whole variety of other issues, but I'm a firm believer that a healthy, full-term baby can totally get on a schedule. If you think about it, as adults we're on schedules. We aren't completely rigid about it. If I'm hungry for lunch at 11:45, I eat lunch. If I'm not hungry until 12:15, I wait to eat until then, but I'm typically going to be hungry for lunch within the time frame of 11:30-12:30. Babies are the same way! After all, they're miniature humans. I think we can tend to forget that babies have similar desires and needs as we do. Babies have an internal clock and like routines. Of course there are exceptions to the schedule like when your baby is sick, is teething, has just been vaccinated, or just seems to be having an off day. On those days you just do what seems right whether that means 8 feedings instead of your normal 4, all naps occurring in your arms, or whatever. You're a parent, and nobody knows your baby better than you. You're your baby's favorite person, and you make great decisions for her! Please don't hate me if you're reading all of this and rolling your eyes while thinking this would never work for you. Maybe, just maybe, there's one tidbit of info that will help your baby fall asleep even just 5 minutes faster or sleep 10 minutes longer at naps. That's worth it, right?
