I really wanted to step up my reading in 2017, and I did it! I didn't have a set number of books that I wanted to try to read, but I just felt like I was wasting too much of my free time watching TV or playing on my phone, and I wanted to use some of that free time in a different way. I checked out almost all of these books from our local library. In the past I had been intimidated walking into the library and just walking around looking for a good book. I don't know a lot of authors' names so I never really knew where to start, and you definitely can't stroll through a library when you have a toddler with you. So I look through a variety of lists online like "Christian books for moms" sort of a thing on Pinterest, and then added books to my request list through the library's website. This is very convenient because I get an email when the book is ready for me, and then I just pick it up at the drive-thru window without having to get out of my car with Sarah. Anyway, I'm not going to take the time to write a summary of all of these books, but I did want to share them with you because almost all of them were winners in my opinion. Most of them have to do with being a mom, because, well, that's my full-time job. Enjoy, and let me know if you end up reading any of them!
1. I'm currently watching Glee for the second time and have read a couple of the authors' books. This is skimmable, but I also enjoyed learning a bit more about one of the actresses, Naya Rivera.
2. Say Goodbye to Survival Mode
3. I can't say that I agree with all of Jen's political and religious perspectives, but I didn't feel like that distracted from this book. She's such a captivating author because you really do feel like she's just sitting next to you talking.
4. Definitely one of my favorites this year. It gave me a good perspective on raising Sarah to be grateful by teaching her to be a contributing member of our household and family.
5. If you enjoy Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, then give Kristen Welch's other book a try, too!
6. I love Gilmore Girls, and I love Lauren Graham. If you do too, why haven't you read this book yet?
7. Again, a book by a Glee actress. Skimmable. :)
8. Unseen - Encouragement for fellow stay at home mommies
9. One of my faves! Read this one for sure! It'll have you laughing and nodding your head in agreement through the whole book.
10 and 11. I want to become friends with Sally Clarkson. Is it okay to feel like we are friends now? She's an inspiration, and I always love reading from moms who have made it through to the "other side" and lived to tell about it.
12-16. Can you tell that we're doing our first Whole30 this month? More on that at the end of the month, but I'd strongly recommend reading these books and not just trusting Pinterest if you're wanting to do a Whole30.
17. Daring Greatly - Skimmable but challenges you to go for it and have big dreams
18. I read a few books on essentialism and organization this summer, and they inspired our yard sale in September.
19. Obviously a must-read if you like Fixer Upper or Chip and JoAnna in general!
20. More yard sale inspiration :)
21. Who doesn't need to extend some more grace to their kids?
22. I'll be honest, I don't think I finished this one. I just couldn't get into it.
23. This was a unique one as it was co-authored and each chapter included both authors' perspectives on a topic - a younger mom and her mentor, Sally Clarkson. I enjoyed it!
24. I like to read financial advice from time to time just to remind myself of our financial goals and why we want to make wise financial decisions.
25. Another book about dreaming big and prioritizing
26. Present Over Perfect
27. Who hasn't felt uninvited? Whether it's not being on the in-crowd with other cool stay at home moms, not feeling like you fit in with your old childhood/hometown friends, not being asked to be part of a group, or whatever. Your self-worth isn't based on those things.
28. Making the most of my time
29. Finding Grace
30. I really liked this one! Good daily, practical examples and tactics.
31-34. I got on a Ruth Soukup jag. :)
Sunday, December 24, 2017
Saturday, December 23, 2017
2017 Recap
2017 is coming to a close, so I wanted to take a minute to think about this year:
In March Robert's dad, Ray, and Ray's two sisters were able to visit from Alabama. It was fun to have all three of them here, and it was extra special since this was one of Aunt Leah's last big trips before moving to Asia. It was also the first time for Aunt Tammy and Aunt Leah to visit us since we'd moved back to Missouri.
We continued to work on home improvement projects. The list is never done when you're a homeowner, right? We did a lot of yard work this fall in hopes that we'll have grass in the spring. I think there's a good chance we're going to have success! We have a couple of small projects left, and then there's that elusive kitchen remodel that'll probably never happen but is fun to imagine. :)
I joined Robert's sister, mom, and grandma for our fifth annual girls trip in May. We went to Arkansas this year and had a great time! Sarah and Robert enjoyed their time together back at home, too.
Also in May, Robert and I got to go to Louisville for a week to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary. Sarah spent time at our house with my parents and Robert's mom, and this was the longest time I'd ever been away from her. We had an awesome week staying with our friends Anna and Forrest from our seminary days in NC. We did lots of sightseeing, game playing, eating, talking, and laughing. It was a wonderful week!
We went to Alabama at the start of July. Sarah LOVED the beach this year! We enjoyed getting to celebrate the 4th of July with Robert's family!
Sarah turned two in August. Can I say that this is my favorite age so far? I genuinely think that she went through the "Terrible Two's" from about 18-24 months old, and her being two has actually been easier compared to that (although 18-24 months was a pretty cute time, too!). She loves doing art activities, putting on concerts, seeing friends, Minnie Mouse, anything girly, and Mittens.
Robert had a jam-packed summer as always: Serve Springfield, VBS, summer camp, mission trip to Kentucky, and a mission trip to Asia. In January he will have been working at South Gate Baptist Church for three years as the student minister. I'm still a stay-at-home mom and enjoy teaching the 2-3 year old Sunday School class, serving in MOPS, and serving alongside Robert in student ministry.
Merry Christmas! We hope you had a great year!
Monday, December 4, 2017
Poor Health
I haven't known what to blog about for the last two months or so because, honestly, I've felt very "in the middle" of some tough times, and I'd been waiting to write until things were better, but it's just time to decompress a bit. Everybody just can't wait to hear about our hard times, right? The very short version is that in the span of 48 hours Sarah broke her toe; Robert got diagnosed with herniated discs, bulging discs, phase II disc degeneration, arthritis, and spinal stenosis; and I started having mouth and stomach pain that eventually got diagnosed as TMJ, SI joint dysfunction, and a uterine fibroid.
It's kind of a blur at this point, but in mid-October I went to urgent care with terrible stomach pain. I was just given an antibiotic and sent on my way which was frustrating. I ended up seeing a new OBGYN at my normal clinic because my previous doctor is in the process of retiring. I got an ultrasound, and there was a uterine fibroid found, but this doctor diagnosed me as having an overactive bladder, and that that was what was giving me pain. What on earth? It just didn't make sense. I didn't have any symptoms of an overactive bladder. So I went to my old OBGYN that I had seen in high school and college. She believes that the fibroid is small enough that it shouldn't be causing this much pain. After running every test imaginable she thinks that the belt of pain that I'm experiencing in my low back, pelvic bone, and low abdomen is caused by sacroiliac joint dysfunction. Her suggestion was to avoid picking up Sarah for two weeks which is easier said than done considering that Robert is also under doctor's orders to not pick up Sarah. We'll see if I start feeling better soon. But anyway, the day after I went to urgent care I had an appointment set up with my dentist because I'd been in pain ever since he gave me a filling a month before. He said everything was totally fine and suggested getting an over the counter night guard. I tried that for two weeks and didn't notice any improvement. He suggested a root canal. It just seemed extreme and too coincidental that this all happened after I got the filling. So again, I got a second opinion from my dad's dentist. He found excess cement on my gum line from the filling and scraped it off and gave me a deep cleaning. I was frustrated that the original dentist wasn't willing to admit his mistake. Unfortunately, I still didn't feel better, so this dentist suggested I see an endodontist. I went in today and got examined and tested, and the good news is that I don't need a root canal. The bad news is that I have TMJ which has been really magnified after having my jaw open wide for all of this dental work. He also saw signs of abnormal wear caused by grinding my teeth and clenching my teeth while I sleep, so I'm going to be doing some exercises and massage and also getting a custom-fit night guard. I'm really hoping for some relief. I've been in pain from this since mid-September.
So then there's Sarah. The day after Robert's big back episode she picked up a 10 pound dumbbell and dropped it on her left big toe. The toenail cracked and bled a lot. It had been over a month, and she started talking about it hurting again, so I took her to the doctor last week, and found out that she had broken it. I was so sad, but reassured that there really isn't anything that you can do for a broken toe. She's walking just fine. Her toenail is also in the process of falling off. Once it totally falls off it'll take about six months to grow back which is sad to me. I've never lost a nail. She's a trooper. But while we were at the doctor for her toe I mentioned that Sarah had been coughing for a few weeks. Turns out she had an ear infection. She's had four ear infections in the last year, so she's going to see an ENT. She's also never seemed to be fully healed from her clogged tear duct, so the ENT should be able to check out that too. And she seems to get lots of lingering colds, so we're going to have him do an allergy test and assess for asthma. I'm hoping and praying for some answers and a positive experience when we get to see the ENT. Seeing your child hurting is just terrible. Also, could you all be praying for Sarah's upcoming urology tests and appointment? On December 15 she will have a renal ultrasound and voiding cystourethrogram (VCUG). She had both of these tests a year and a half ago to officially diagnose her with vesicoureteral reflux. The renal ultrasound isn't bad, but for the VCUG they have to insert a catheter and fill her bladder with contrast dye and watch her bladder fill and empty on an x-ray screen to test the strength and formation of the ureters. The last time she had it done she wasn't even one yet, and she did a good job. I just don't want her to be in pain or scared. Then on the 18th we'll see the urologist to get her updated diagnosis. I'll be honest and say that for the last year and a half I've been praying for a miracle. With all of my heart I want to go in on December 18 and hear that Sarah is fully healed. It will take a miracle. Most kids with grade IV reflux don't grow out of it. It just gets better enough to need a laparoscopic surgery instead of an open anti-reflux surgery. I hate having to give her a daily prophylactic antibiotic in order to prevent UTI's. I also hate the way I feel when people hate on antibiotics and parents who "let" their kids take antibiotics. I want to yell at them and say, "This is the only way I was able to avoid having my seven month old daughter have open surgery and stay at a children's hospital for days!!!" When people make sweeping generalizations about how antibiotics are overused it hurts my feelings. I understand building up a child's immune system, but not everyone takes antibiotics just so they don't have to be in pain from an ear infection. For some people like Sarah it is literally preventing her from needing a kidney transplant one day. Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox. I will just end by saying that I am thankful for this medicine that has enabled Sarah to be UTI free since the summer of 2016 after she had two that spring.
Finally, there's Robert. Before I even met him he injured his back in high school but never took care of it. After several years it was bad enough that, after no improvement from physical therapy and pain management, he had back surgery in September of 2012 for two herniated discs. He had been at about 90% ever since then, but in October he picked up Sarah, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back (almost literally). Robert was in extreme pain and went to the emergency room only to get some pain medicine. Thankfully, I got him in with his primary care physician that same day, and he was able to get an X-Ray and an MRI to get diagnosed with herniated discs, bulging discs, disc degeneration, arthritis, and spinal stenosis. I'll spare you the details, but basically the medical world moves way too slowly when you're in excruciating pain and can't walk or stand up straight. For example, his original MRI was scheduled for six weeks from his doctor's appointment! Thankfully I did lots of calling and got him in just two days later, but can you imagine waiting six weeks for an MRI so you can get a diagnosis and actually start a treatment plan? That's nuts! The silver lining is that our neighbor works at a physical therapy clinic owned by her father-in-law, and she got Robert in to see him quickly. The PT has been an absolute godsend. He has done things that other PT's have never done for Robert, and he has seen a ton of improvement. He told Robert he thinks he can be healed without surgery. Robert was also able to get an injection from at the spine institute, and has gotten a lot of pain relief from that.
I want to say thank you to our family, friends, and church members who have taken care of us during this time. You lightened our load!
We obviously wouldn't have ever wanted to experience this. It hasn't been fun to be in physical pain. It isn't fun to get medical bills in the mail. It isn't fun to spend hours in waiting rooms, but I'd like to leave you with an excerpt from a book a friend is letting me borrow. It's called The Scars That Have Shaped Me by Vaneetha Rendall Risner.
It's kind of a blur at this point, but in mid-October I went to urgent care with terrible stomach pain. I was just given an antibiotic and sent on my way which was frustrating. I ended up seeing a new OBGYN at my normal clinic because my previous doctor is in the process of retiring. I got an ultrasound, and there was a uterine fibroid found, but this doctor diagnosed me as having an overactive bladder, and that that was what was giving me pain. What on earth? It just didn't make sense. I didn't have any symptoms of an overactive bladder. So I went to my old OBGYN that I had seen in high school and college. She believes that the fibroid is small enough that it shouldn't be causing this much pain. After running every test imaginable she thinks that the belt of pain that I'm experiencing in my low back, pelvic bone, and low abdomen is caused by sacroiliac joint dysfunction. Her suggestion was to avoid picking up Sarah for two weeks which is easier said than done considering that Robert is also under doctor's orders to not pick up Sarah. We'll see if I start feeling better soon. But anyway, the day after I went to urgent care I had an appointment set up with my dentist because I'd been in pain ever since he gave me a filling a month before. He said everything was totally fine and suggested getting an over the counter night guard. I tried that for two weeks and didn't notice any improvement. He suggested a root canal. It just seemed extreme and too coincidental that this all happened after I got the filling. So again, I got a second opinion from my dad's dentist. He found excess cement on my gum line from the filling and scraped it off and gave me a deep cleaning. I was frustrated that the original dentist wasn't willing to admit his mistake. Unfortunately, I still didn't feel better, so this dentist suggested I see an endodontist. I went in today and got examined and tested, and the good news is that I don't need a root canal. The bad news is that I have TMJ which has been really magnified after having my jaw open wide for all of this dental work. He also saw signs of abnormal wear caused by grinding my teeth and clenching my teeth while I sleep, so I'm going to be doing some exercises and massage and also getting a custom-fit night guard. I'm really hoping for some relief. I've been in pain from this since mid-September.
So then there's Sarah. The day after Robert's big back episode she picked up a 10 pound dumbbell and dropped it on her left big toe. The toenail cracked and bled a lot. It had been over a month, and she started talking about it hurting again, so I took her to the doctor last week, and found out that she had broken it. I was so sad, but reassured that there really isn't anything that you can do for a broken toe. She's walking just fine. Her toenail is also in the process of falling off. Once it totally falls off it'll take about six months to grow back which is sad to me. I've never lost a nail. She's a trooper. But while we were at the doctor for her toe I mentioned that Sarah had been coughing for a few weeks. Turns out she had an ear infection. She's had four ear infections in the last year, so she's going to see an ENT. She's also never seemed to be fully healed from her clogged tear duct, so the ENT should be able to check out that too. And she seems to get lots of lingering colds, so we're going to have him do an allergy test and assess for asthma. I'm hoping and praying for some answers and a positive experience when we get to see the ENT. Seeing your child hurting is just terrible. Also, could you all be praying for Sarah's upcoming urology tests and appointment? On December 15 she will have a renal ultrasound and voiding cystourethrogram (VCUG). She had both of these tests a year and a half ago to officially diagnose her with vesicoureteral reflux. The renal ultrasound isn't bad, but for the VCUG they have to insert a catheter and fill her bladder with contrast dye and watch her bladder fill and empty on an x-ray screen to test the strength and formation of the ureters. The last time she had it done she wasn't even one yet, and she did a good job. I just don't want her to be in pain or scared. Then on the 18th we'll see the urologist to get her updated diagnosis. I'll be honest and say that for the last year and a half I've been praying for a miracle. With all of my heart I want to go in on December 18 and hear that Sarah is fully healed. It will take a miracle. Most kids with grade IV reflux don't grow out of it. It just gets better enough to need a laparoscopic surgery instead of an open anti-reflux surgery. I hate having to give her a daily prophylactic antibiotic in order to prevent UTI's. I also hate the way I feel when people hate on antibiotics and parents who "let" their kids take antibiotics. I want to yell at them and say, "This is the only way I was able to avoid having my seven month old daughter have open surgery and stay at a children's hospital for days!!!" When people make sweeping generalizations about how antibiotics are overused it hurts my feelings. I understand building up a child's immune system, but not everyone takes antibiotics just so they don't have to be in pain from an ear infection. For some people like Sarah it is literally preventing her from needing a kidney transplant one day. Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox. I will just end by saying that I am thankful for this medicine that has enabled Sarah to be UTI free since the summer of 2016 after she had two that spring.
Finally, there's Robert. Before I even met him he injured his back in high school but never took care of it. After several years it was bad enough that, after no improvement from physical therapy and pain management, he had back surgery in September of 2012 for two herniated discs. He had been at about 90% ever since then, but in October he picked up Sarah, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back (almost literally). Robert was in extreme pain and went to the emergency room only to get some pain medicine. Thankfully, I got him in with his primary care physician that same day, and he was able to get an X-Ray and an MRI to get diagnosed with herniated discs, bulging discs, disc degeneration, arthritis, and spinal stenosis. I'll spare you the details, but basically the medical world moves way too slowly when you're in excruciating pain and can't walk or stand up straight. For example, his original MRI was scheduled for six weeks from his doctor's appointment! Thankfully I did lots of calling and got him in just two days later, but can you imagine waiting six weeks for an MRI so you can get a diagnosis and actually start a treatment plan? That's nuts! The silver lining is that our neighbor works at a physical therapy clinic owned by her father-in-law, and she got Robert in to see him quickly. The PT has been an absolute godsend. He has done things that other PT's have never done for Robert, and he has seen a ton of improvement. He told Robert he thinks he can be healed without surgery. Robert was also able to get an injection from at the spine institute, and has gotten a lot of pain relief from that.
I want to say thank you to our family, friends, and church members who have taken care of us during this time. You lightened our load!
We obviously wouldn't have ever wanted to experience this. It hasn't been fun to be in physical pain. It isn't fun to get medical bills in the mail. It isn't fun to spend hours in waiting rooms, but I'd like to leave you with an excerpt from a book a friend is letting me borrow. It's called The Scars That Have Shaped Me by Vaneetha Rendall Risner.
Remembering Romans puts my life in perspective. God is not surprised by disappointing news. He knows it all beforehand and uses it to conform me into his image. As I reflect on the situation and the character of God, my prayer changes. I am able to say: "Though I don't understand this situation, Lord, you have brought it into my life. Because of that, I know it is good. And I know that you will use it - both for my good and for your glory. I want to trust you. Help me to do that."
Then, every time I think about the situation, I decide to seek God in it. Rather than dwelling on the negative, I begin praying that God will use it - in my life, for others involved, to his glory. This is not an easy prayer. It is a deliberate choice to push worry, anger, and self-pity away. But as I seek the Lord and keep talking to him, he enables me to take my thoughts captive. Slowly, my sense of desperation dissipates.
Recognizing that God is going to use this trial makes me calmer. So every time I think about the issue, rather than getting upset and anxious, I pray. I ask God to work in the situation. To redirect my emotions. To help me trust him. It's easy for me to jump to conclusions. To think that a trying situation is going to lead to another and then another. I often extrapolate present difficulties into the future - which is the crux of not trusting God. Those difficulties may never present themselves, but even if they do, God's grace will be there to meet me. Even if the worst happens, God will not fail me.
I wish I could remember these truths when problems first arise. I needlessly worry when I could be trusting God. I shouldn't be surprised when trials come. The Bible says to expect them. They train me and refine me. They do deep work in my soul. The reveal my character.
I do not know how this situation will end, but I do know that God brings beauty from ashes. No matter what happens, I know he will use it for my good and his glory. There cannot be a better ending than that;
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