Let me start out by saying that this post is geared toward stay at home moms simply because that's what I am, so after staying at home during my pregnancy and all of Sarah's life for a total of 22 months so far, I feel like I have some decent insights into being a stay at home mom that could maybe lift your spirits as a fellow stay at home more or at least get a head nod and an "Mmhmm. Preach it."
It's okay to take a nap. Seriously. I'm tired if hearing moms say that they don't have time to nap or feel guilty about napping. Let's just estimate that you're baby is awake from 7:00am-7:00pm and naps for a total of two hours a day. That means she's awake for 10 hours a day, 7 days a week. That means that you're spending 70 hours a week meeting your baby's needs. That's just shy of two full-time jobs. You don't get a breakfast break; you drink room temp coffee an hour later. You don't get a lunch break because you feed your baby and then heat up some leftovers. You don't even get to go to the bathroom in privacy. Seriously, you deserve a stinking nap when your babe takes a nap. Sure, your husband will be extra happy if he's able to make it to the kitchen table without breaking his leg maneuvering through a pile of toys and laundry, but you'll find 10 minutes during the day to pick up really quick before he gets home. Take a nap, take a nap, take a nap! Okay, so maybe you aren't a napper. Read a book, watch tv, crochet, or whatever helps you reset to make it through the rest of the day.
You might feel like because you're not out there interacting with dozens of people a day at work that you've kind of been forgotten. Honestly, people probably aren't thinking about what you're doing all day, and that stings from time to time. Sometimes you'll hear people say, "I wish I could stay at home," and you'll feel guilty about not loving every second of it. It's okay to not feel like shaking a rattle and singing The Wheels on the Bus is the mentally stimulating thing you've ever done. You'll feel like you aren't making an impact on the world or the Kingdom because you literally build block towers and spoon-feed squash to a nonverbal baby all day. But, and this is something I have to remind myself of regularly, you are building the foundation for a loving, trusting relationship with your child. Right now she already knows that she can trust you to keep her safe, feed her when she's hungry, help her stay rested, and introduce her to new and fun things. By God's grace, one day she will trust you to hear her and know her when she shares about her first crush, a friendship where she feels misunderstand, homework struggles, and her hopes and dreams for the future. When you feel like you could be out there being a missionary and bringing hundreds to Christ through a crusade, remember that you have 70 hours a week to be Jesus to your little one. For now, it might look like reading a four sentence version of the creation story and saying things like, "What a soft kitty. I'm glad God made animals. Thank you, God, for making animals and for making me," and that seems super basic, but I hold fast to the hope that one day Sarah will ask Jesus to forgive her of her sins and will become a born again believer. Seriously, that will make every time I sang "Jesus Loves Me" over and over again worth it. My number one priority as a parent is to shepherd my child toward a personal relationship with Christ, and I'm so thankful that I have the honor and privilege to be her primary influence.
Some days will be really quiet, but God is still with you. Some days you'll look at the calendar and realize that you seriously have absolutely nothing to do and it's only 9:00am. You don't want to muster up the energy to go grocery shopping, it's raining so you can't go on a stroller ride, you friend's son is sick so you can't have a play date, everyone else is at work so they can't come by or talk on the phone, and the day will seem super quiet, but God hears every thought, and you can talk to him in your head or aloud. Don't worry, your baby won't think you're crazy! You can also narrate everything you're doing. You'd be amazed at how therapeutic it can be to say, "Mommy is losing her mind right now. She sure hopes you take a very long nap so she can eat a brownie and watch TV." I suppose one day she'll be old enough to understand that. :)
The other day I knew that Robert had an extra meeting in the evening and would be gone from about 8:30am-7:30pm. Around noon I was feeling down that I still had more than seven hours until he'd be home, and I literally had to have a complete mindset shift and say, "I'm not going there." I told myself I wouldn't have a pity party. I know Robert doesn't want to work late. He'd rather be at home. I know that he has to work outside of the home so that I can stay at home. When I can think reasonably like this it makes a world of difference. Of course, this doesn't always happen, and sometimes I lay in bed and cry for a minute when Sarah wakes up after a short 30 minute nap. That's real life for you.
But other days God will send you an angel of a friend who comes to play with your baby, and you eat dinner together, go grocery shopping together, and then watch Grey's Anatomy and bake cookies after your baby goes to sleep. God is so sweet to me, and I know he'll give you some sweet forever friends, too, even when it seems like all of your other friends work, go to school, or just have so many other things going on, and you're at home just changing diapers on repeat. And maybe when you start working outside of the home one day you'll make a younger stay at home mom friend and the memories will come flooding in and you'll take that mom a coffee, and you'll be her angel of a friend for the day.
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