Wedding Planning Tips

I'd say I learned a thing or two while planning our wedding, so I have taken it upon myself to share my knowledge.  There are so many helpful websites out there, but I found that a lot of them assume you have $20,000+ to spend on a wedding.  If you do - awesome!  If not, that does not mean you have to have a cheap-o wedding.  Throughout the wedding process Robert and I took the approach that, "If we're married at the end of the day it was a success.  The people who are at our wedding love us.  They are happy for us.  Therefore, they will be so happy to be at our wedding, that it doesn't have to be 'perfect' in order for everyone to enjoy it."  Those of you who know me well know that I'm a spreadsheet loving - list making - scheduling - organizing lady through and through.  I had a spreadsheet entitled "Wedding Planning" that had sub-sheets for guest list, budget, to do, shower guest lists, and schedules for the wedding day.

Guest List
For each invitation I had cells for: name, address, potential number of guests, actual number of guests after RSVP, present received, and thank you sent.  Simple and got the job done.

Budget
I kept all receipts and documented each time I made a purchase (location, item(s), price, and date).

To do list
We were engaged for nine months.  It seemed like a good amount of time for us.  Robert and I both agree that a ton of planning happened in the first few months, nothing happened from months 4-6, and then everything picked up again for months 7-9.  So we didn't actually do a ton a stuff for all nine months, but it was necessary to book everything nine months in advance.  Otherwise, we definitely could have pulled it off in 4-6 months.

First monthDetermine budget - How much are the bride's parents planning to pay?  Will they pay monthly installments or give you one lump sum?  What will the groom's parents pay for? (i.e. rehearsal dinner, groom's apparel)  Are you willing to contribute any of your own money?

Choose a color scheme

Search for ceremony venue and book

Have engagement pictures taken

Submit engagement announcement to hometown newspaper after receiving engagement pictures

Search for reception venue and book

Create wedding website (we used The Knot)

Search for photographer and book

Search for florist - We met with the florist and received great help.  She had a book of flowers for each color.  She also helped us pick types of flowers that would fit our budget well.

Search for videographer and book

Second month
Finalize guest list - Have both sets of parents look over the list to make sure you haven't forgotten anyone or misspelled any names

Set up registries - Pick a national chain as well as a local store

Select pastor for ceremony

Select and book ceremony musicians

Meet with photographer to discuss expectations for wedding photography

Third month
Shop for gown - I actually found and bought mine three days after getting engaged :)

Select wedding party - Picked mine the day after getting engaged

Select wedding party outfits - For the bridesmaids I picked a color and type of fabric.  They got to pick the style.  The guys purchased brown dress pants, ivory shirts, blue ties, and brown socks.  They wore brown belts and shoes that they already had.

Search for and book wedding cake baker

Fourth month
Order invitations

Purchase thank you notes

Get veil

Purchase paper goods for reception

Meet with venue coordinator for reception

Plan rehearsal dinner with groom's parents

Fifth month
Schedule wedding day makeup

Schedule wedding day hair

Sixth month
Plan and book honeymoon

Buy wedding shoes

Purchase stamps for invitations and thank you notes

Seventh month
Have first gown fitting

Talk with your bridesmaids in order to plan bachelorette party

Ask bridesmaid to host personal shower

Address invitations

Mail out invitations at the three month mark

Eighth month
Discuss music selection with musician(s)

Purchase gifts for groomsmen and bridesmaids

Have trial run for makeup

Have trial run for hair

Main shower

Ninth month
Purchase a guest book

Mail out invitations to rehearsal dinner

Ask people to help serve food at reception, hand out bulletins and bird seed, etc.

Confirm order with florist

Apply for marriage license

Purchase wedding rings and have them inscribe

Order bulletins

Order food for reception

Wedding month
Make birdseed bags

Purchase clothing for honeymoon

Confirm details for rehearsal dinner

Bachelor party

Bachelorette party

Post-wedding
Clean wedding gown

Make sure everything has been paid in full

Send remaining thank you notes - I would HIGHLY recommend the method of, "Get a gift.  Write a thank you note."  That's what we did, and it was not miserable at all.  It's only miserable when you wait to start writing thank you notes after the wedding and have to sit down to write 300 at once.

Update social security card

Tell alma mater(s) that your name has changed

Update name with health, prescription, dental, and auto insurance companies so they can send you new cards

Forward mail to your new address, and let the post office know that your name has changed

Change your name on your credit card.  Combine account with spouse if you choose.

Change your name with your bank - Get new debit card and checks.  Combine account with spouse if you choose.

Update name on passport

Add your spouse to your car title

Obtain new driver's license

Register to vote with your new last name

Purchase remaining gift registry items



General advice - This experience is meant to bring the two of you closer together.  If you notice something in the process is causing you to disagree then it's time to re-evaluate things and remember what the focus is - uniting in marriage to glorify our Father.  Also, remember that your family and friends want to help you.  You just have to ask.

Leap Year

Another good week.  I had the honor of hanging with two high schoolers for six days while their parents took a much-needed vacation to Mexico for their 25th wedding anniversary.  We had a great time!  They live about 15 miles out of town, and strangely, I enjoyed the drive back and forth.  They have two super cute dogs - Lucy and Hazel.  Lucy stays indoors, and Hazel stays outdoors.  Lucy is a cuddler, and she's so soft!  The week consisted of pretty much the same routine every day - Make sure the kids make it to school on time, head in to town to do my own stuff til after school, make dinner for the kids, hang, do homework, chat.  It was very relaxing.  And the fact that I was sleeping on a Queen sized memory foam bed didn't hurt.

Robert lead music at The Encounter on Sunday.  I always enjoy listening to his beautiful voice and guitar, and I am very thankful that we can serve and worship the same God together.

Robert has been going to the chiropractor for about a week and a half now.  It stinks that it's a 45 minute drive each way, but it seems to be paying off.  He goes every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.  The treatments will last two months.  Each time he gets an adjustment and spends 15 minutes with four electrodes on while he lays on a "roller bed" that's basically like an industrial shiatsu massager.  Initially his spine was totally messed up.  He had a herniated disc (a.k.a. bulging disc) and a slipped disc.  His vertebrae didn't have much space in them which was causing lots of pressure.  Around his third or fourth lumbar his makes about a 45 degree angle shooting left and goes straight from there.  This was causing lots of pain in his back, left hip, and left knee.  Additionally, his left toes were numb due to a pinched nerve.  Every two months he gets spinal decompression which is supposed to create more space between his vertebrae.  He lays down, and they put a belt around his waste.  The belts has a hook on it, a rope clips onto it.  This rope is hooked up to a machine that pulls and creates tension.  Robert gets 55 pounds of tension.  It goes up and down - 15 pounds, 30 pounds, 55 pounds, 30 pounds, 15 pounds, etc. - for 15 minutes.  He loves it!  Maybe it will make him taller than me.

I started working as a paid nursery worker at church again.  I worked there last year from January-June, but I stopped when I started grad school.  This semester is significantly slower, so I've decided to pick it up again.  Each week I'll work on Wednesday mornings for two and a half hours so a group of moms can have a Bible study.  The rest of my schedule will vary each week.  I'm hoping for about 10 hours a week.

When I bought Robert's certificate for his initial chiropractic adjustment it came with a coupon for a free 60 minute massage from Sozo Salon and Spa.  He got the adjustment.  I got the massage.  I went in yesterday afternoon, and it was great!  She actually massaged me for about 70 minutes, and I even fell asleep for a few minutes during it.

After my massage I stayed in Springfield to wait for my family to come down for dinner.  While I killed time I took Robert's trumpet to Springfield Music.  Robert told me to sell it for anything more than $50.  I got $75!  So great to get rid of it and earn some extra cash!  Also, Robert has been having a lot of success with Craigslist lately and is set to make two different sales Monday when he goes to Springfield for his adjustment.  We still have a guitar stand and prom dress for sale.  Holler if you're interested!

Ray brought down a bunch of Robert's stuff last weekend.  He's moving to Alabama at the beginning of April, so we agreed that it would make more sense for him to bring everything to Bolivar now instead of having him take it to Alabama and then bring it back to Bolivar in May.  I was concerned about where on earth we'd put everything at first.  Robert doesn't have a ton of stuff, but it's not exactly like I have a ton of space of a washer, dryer, and several boxes.  We are so very thankful that Serina gifted us with a washer and dryer.  When she moved to D.C. she moved into an apartment that came with a washer and dryer, so she didn't need the set from her house any longer.  They're only about six years old, so they're very nice.  Anyway, I was thinking, "Am I supposed to just sit these in my bedroom for two months?"  Then it came to me - Jim hasn't had a washer or dryer since he moved into his house in August.  He has hookups and a specific spot allotted for this items.  Bingo!  Jim will be housing the washer and dryer for the next three months, and in return he gets to use them for free for three months.  Win-win!  When Jim moved out in August my parents allowed me to turn it into the wedding room.  Basically, for the last six months it has been my place to work on wedding crafts, store presents, and keep the wedding party's clothing.  That makes the wedding room an excellent place to store Robert's boxes until we move.  After Ray left we went through the boxes, and we were able to pitch quite a bit of it.  Unlike me, Robert does not enjoy organizing, sorting, and purging unwanted items like I do.  He had stuff ranging from grad school through high school - random rocks, tons of papers, sticks, pictures, and so much more.  He kept the special things - the last note he got from his Mamaw, little league pictures, and the like.

This week we sent out our wedding invitations, and the hostesses for our shower sent out our shower invitations.  We're so pumped!  We don't know who, but people have started buying items off of our registry!  This week someone bought (but we haven't received them yet) our flatware, hostess set of flatware, iced tea spoons, a table cloth, cloth napkins, napkin rings, a coffee pot, and an iron.  We get super excited each time we check the registry and see that the number of items purchased has increased and the number of items remaining has decreased.  We're not excited in a "We're greedy and want MORE!" kind of way.  We're excited in a "With each item we picture our new life together.  It's exciting to get the items we registered for six months ago.  We're adults with out own things.  We are so thankful for our wonderful friends that give freely!" kind of way.

My mom bought her mother of the bride dress last weekend.  The dress looks great, and she's stunning!  Also, on Monday I'll be going to Norman's to pick up my bridesmaids' dresses.  Eek!

First day of school

Monday was the first day of the fall semester for Robert and me.  This semester I'll have Seminar in Organizational Communication on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:20-8:00 (August 22-October 12), and then it'll switch to Organizational Change on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:20-8:00 (October 24-December 14).  I'm also taking Corporate Writing and Public Relations on Thursdays from 5:20-8:00 (August 25-December 15).  That's nine hours total.  It's really weird being at home all day and then going to class all evening.  My entire schooling life I've gone to school in the day and studied in the evening.  It's nice and quiet at home since my parents are at work, but it's weird having Mom come home for the day before I've even left for school.  This week has been pretty chill so far.  I know after this week I will not be saying that, so I'm trying to take advantage of the calm before the storm.  My first big-ish assignment for org comm is a critical book review.  We had a list of 19 books from which to choose.  We passed around a sign-up sheet, and I got OurSpace.  It was my fourth choice.  It's supposed to come in the mail tomorrow.  Once it gets here I hope to read it and write my report by September 6.  That'll give me plenty of time to turn in a rough draft and get feedback before it's due September 19.  Tonight we're finding out about our assignment of leading class discussion over one journal article.  That shouldn't be too hard since I've done it in a few classes already.  Then the only other major thing in that class is a research proposal, but the professor really hasn't talked about it at all.  Another 100 points will come from class participation and a few small homework assignments like answering some questions over the night's reading.  It doesn't sound too terrible yet.  I'll let you know how PR goes tomorrow.  I have a feeling it won't sound too overwhelming since I have 15 weeks to finish the class instead of my usual 3 or 6 week classes.  15 weeks will feel like forever!

Robert's first day of his senior year at SBU

My first day of my second semester of grad school at Drury

Already ready for the school year to be over.  Is that bad?

Mom's first full week of school.  Keeping up the first day of school picture tradition.

 Wedding planning is going well.  Mom and I did some shopping last weekend and bought thank you notes from Target ($2 for 10 cards - steal!) and a truckload of items from Hobby Lobby - 2 small vases, a medium vase, tan sand, and brown sand for our sand pouring instead of unity candle; 10 yards of khaki tulle (On sale for $0.77 a yard instead of $0.97), 7 yards of dusty blue tulle (On sale for $0.77 a yard instead of $0.97), 25 yards of shiny ivory tulle (On sale for $0.97 a yard instead of $1.17), a few fabric samples (30%) to give to Aunt Pam for our centerpieces, 9 rolls of ribbon (50% off), and 13 stems of dusty blue silk flowers (50% off = $1 each).  Plus we had two coupons for 40% off a single regular priced item (2 of the vases).  The thriftiness prompted a surge of energy for both of us, trust me.  Mom and I stopped by Norman's to get a swatch of the fabric for my bridesmaids dresses.  While we were there Mom tried on four mother of the bride dresses.  She also tried on a few at David's Bridal.  Former mothers of the bride, where did you find your dress?  How did you find a dress that said, "I'm not trying to look like a 21 year old bridesmaid, but I'm also not a grandma?" 

Yesterday we met with our florist.  While I believe we've chosen the best deal in Bolivar, it's SHOCKING how expensive fresh flowers are.  Thankfully we're only buying bouquets for my five bridesmaids and me.  No fresh flowers anywhere else.

We picked up our invitations yesterday.  They turned out perfectly!  We did them at "Our Other Office."  Talk about a confusing name.  Robert and I designed them, and we decided to go postcard style.  We're hoping that this way people will look at the invite sooner since they won't have to spend time opening it up.  I know opening an envelop doesn't seem like much of a burden, but seriously, how many people have stacks of unopened mail?  Too many!  Also, this will reduce the cost of postage by 50%.  We printed in black and color on one side and just black on the other side.

We also met with our wonderful cake baker and discusses details.  I know Alana will do such a great job!  We're definitely on the same page which is very helpful.

Robert has picked his groomsmen which is very exciting.  We're wanting to guys to wear khaki pants with matching khaki vests.  Mom and I looked over the weekend only to find out khaki is seasonal.  All the stores have random leftover sizes of khaki items on sale now, and they won't have their new khaki items til March.  HELP!  Any ideas?  As you know, I would be totally on edge waiting til two months in advance to even start looking for their outfits.

Did I tell you I already have five ladies who have asked to help host my main shower?  Blessed!
Does anyone have photographer suggestions?  Robert and I are struggling between wanting nice photos but not being able to justify spending a large chunk of money on photos because, let's be real, after a few years of marriage most people only have a couple of nice wedding photos out on display.  What happened to the other 1000 photos they paid $3000?  I rest my case.